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Week Somethingsomethingsomething: No Regrets

No Regrets: Write down all of your failures and regrets in life. Invite others to do the same. Get together to make a giant regret-fueled bonfire. Don’t forget the marshmallows!

Once a week this semester, I’ve met with a really cool group of people to do really cool things. Specifics are not important. Usually we meet at someone’s house, but about two months ago, we decided to switch it up and have a bonfire/picnic. As everyone was signing up to bring food and fixings, I encouraged everyone to make a list of their regrets so that we could burn them. Everyone thought it was a pretty bumpin’ idea.

The timing of our bonfire/regret-burning party was perfect. The weekend before our event, I made some really stupid (sober) decisions and I felt like shit. I felt like I’d lost a great deal of integrity because I’d been “that girl”.

When I got to the bonfire, I poured out my heart on the paper, not just about the weekend before, but about all of the stupid decisions I made in my life. After we’d finished writing, we gathered around the fire and each of us shared one thing we’d written. I talked about my grandmother, who was in the hospital at the time, and how I regretted not spending more time with her when she was well (she actually passed away a few weeks ago).

Then, we all threw our regrets into the fire and roasted marshmallows. Yay!

This was an incredibly cathartic experience and, even better, it was a bonding opportunity as well. All of us in the group got a chance to open up to each other and establish trust. I feel that it was a turning point in our relationship: we went from random people united for a cause to (hopefully) lifelong friends. I’d love to make this a tradition among us. We’ll see.

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Week 4: Dance! Too Much Booty In the Pants

Do a ‘wake up’ dance every morning. Learn new dance moves. Have a random dance breakout party every day. Invite people to join in.

While I do not have too much booty in my pants, I do like to dance. I’ve found that many of life’s minor problems (and some major ones too) can be rectified by merely busting a move every now and then. You don’t need lessons, you just have to feel the music and go with it. Dancing, in my opinion, is just wiggling with style. And, you can do it anywhere, at work, in the shower (with non-slip mats firmly in place, pleaseandthankyou!), in your car, wherever and whenever the spirit moves you. Huzzah!

I love to dance already, so this week isn’t anything out of the ordinary. To make things a bit more challenging (and to make up for last week’s pathetic attempts at boldness) , I’m adding some other tasks to the pot:

  1. Do a little dance every hour, on the hour, for at least 1 minute. Exceptions: sleeping, business functions, social situations where it would be grossly inappropriate to do so.
  2. Invite people to dance with you. Yes, do it. Just do it. Be bold, remember? Tiger? Grrraaaawwwwrrrrr!
  3. Take a class somewhere, preferably in salsa or swing, the two banes of your existence. (I used to take salsa lessons, but I stopped and got really rusty, so now I avoid it. I’ve always hated swing dancing, for some strange reason.) There are all sorts of places around town that offer a free first lesson, so take advantage of them.
  4. Go clubbing and shake what yo’ mama gave ya.

Maybe that last one needs explanation. Not to perpetuate racial stereotypes or anything, but I’m kind of a disgrace to the black community. I can’t dance. I mean, I can dance, as in tap, jazz, ballet, lyrical, salsa, cumbia, tango (and a mean cha-cha slide), but I can’t dance, you know what I mean? I’m just not into all the booty-shaking, hip-rocking, pop-lock-and-drop it business. On the oh-so-rare occasions that I’ve tried, I always felt really awkward and uncomfortable. Oh well. Time to get over it.

This week will be scads of fun. So far, I’ve danced to Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and now I am sore. Brilliant.

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Week #3 – Don’t Fear the Reaper (of Rejection)

Be bold. Enter contests. Flirt with cute strangers. Audition/apply for things you have no business auditioning/applying for. But please stay away from Club Vogue.

 

Club Vogue, for those not in the know, is a strip club near my school. I’ve yet to grace its seedy halls, but sometimes when money gets tight, I say (purely in jest), that I’m going to apply. Not that they’d hire me anyway; I’m shaped like a 14 year old boy and I act like a 93 year old woman. I might break my hip swinging on that pole, that’s a huge liability right there.

 

ANYWAY! This week is not about stripping, it’s about boldness! Being bold! Releasing the tiger within! Grrrraaaaaawwww!

 

I haven’t a clue what that means. So far, all I’ve done is ask for an extra tortilla with my burrito bol at Chipotle…

I think my problem is that I have this morbid fear of failure. When I was younger, I excelled in everything, except sports, which is probably why I never played. Over time, I’ve had that perfectionist spirit beaten out of me, but part of it still lingers. I’m afraid of being a burden to people, I’m afraid of people disliking me. If I think someone is going to say ‘no’ to me, I won’t even try to ask them for an answer or a favor. If I think I’m going to fail at something, a lot of times I just won’t try. What a plate of suck. This is no way to live.

I’m a pretty chill person, I just let life happen, but I’m also “The Good Girl”, the “Responsible One”, the “Role Model” too. I always wear my seatbelt, I’ve never done drugs, I don’t sleep around, I take my vitamins, I’m respectful to my elders. I don’t make waves unnecessarily. I’ve been this nice, little sweet girl all of my life, and to be honest, sometimes it’s irritating. Sometimes, I just want to be “That Girl”. I want to stir shit up instead of playing it safe.

 

I don’t think that this means I have to go looking for trouble or mischief this week, per se, but let’s just say that if that train comes into my station, I’d better hop on board. We’ll see.

 

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Week #2 – Dear Diary

Take an hour a day to journal, reflect on your day/life/mood/current situation, etc. Introspect your little heart out!

 

What can I say about this little guy? I chose it at random, and the first thing I thought was “At least I didn’t pick the ‘ecofriendly-ride-your-bike-everywhere‘ one”. I have a 200+ mile drive to make tomorrow, and a trip to Omaha and back on Wednesday and ‘everywhere’ means ‘everywhere’. I’m balls-to-the-wall hardcore about it.

 

Journaling. Okay. This is as good a time as any to take on this task. You could say that my day/life/mood/current situation is journal-worthy. My grandmother is in the hospital right now, and it isn’t looking good. I’m trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life (but honestly, who isn’t?). My relationship with my father, for the first time ever, is significantly strained, as is my relationship with God. Being back home for the summer makes me feel like I’m in high school again, which, by the way, is not a good feeling. No, not at all. Memories that I’ve worked hard to bury are rising again to the surface.

 

But I don’t want to get all melodramatic; there are good and lovely goings-on in my life: I’ve learned to make pita bread, from scratch and it is life-changingly delicious. I’m regaining the weight I lost last semester, I’m healthy, I’m loved, I’m safe, I’m raking in the dinero, and, most importantly, when I wake up I know that everyday is another opportunity to make new friends and experience new things. There’s nothing greater than this.

 

So yeah, I’ve got goodies to write about. Maybe I’ll post it here, maybe not. Either way, it’ll be a much needed catharsis. I have a habit of keeping all of my emotions and aches and pains bottled up inside, an attempt at stoicism. In the long run, it ends up doing more harm than good.

 

That’s all I’ve got, my lovelies.

 

 

– Camry

 

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Week #1 – Reading Rainbow

A book a day is pushing it, don’t you think? How about one good long novel this week, or two shorties?

Alright! Today, I officially start my 52 week challenge. Since it’s the first week, I decided to cheat a bit and choose my own challenge instead of drawing at random. I used to be a voracious reader when I was younger, but taking an average of 18 hours per semester for the past 3 years has negatively impacted my ability to read as much as I’d like. So I decided to go back to my bookworm roots.

Reading a book is easy. Choosing one (just one!!!) to read…not so much.

After having a casual debate, via facebook, with my friend DannyD about this project, I remembered a book that he suggested to me: The Time Traveler’s Wife.

“Brilliant!” I thought. “I’ve been meaning to read this book for almost two years now. What a great start!”

Alas, the county library system’s limited selection thwarted my plans. Blast. I thought about hitting up Borders or Barnes & Nobles, but here’s a new rule to add to the rules list:

Don’t spend pantsloads of money.

So now I’ve got to achieve maximum happiness while spending minimum amounts of money. No sweat. My middle name is frugal.

I could order off Amazon or do an interlibrary loan, but I’ve only got a week to do this. It probably wouldn’t take that long, but I want to get this puppy going!

So tomorrow, I’m going to try to find my library card and either hope that I recall some other books on my dated, long-lost to-read list, or just wander around until I find something good.

Clearly, I haven’t thought this cunning plan all the way through. At least I’m not as bad as this lady. (P.S. I am strangely attracted to that smarmy young man, even though he looks like the lovechild of James Spader and Johnathan Brandis).

Okay. Tomorrow: library. book. read. good. Also tomorrow: learn to sew, finally! My friend’s mother has offered to help me learn how to tame the beast that is my sewing machine (named Craig, since I found it on the blessed creation that is Craigslist). The only thing I’ve ever sewn in my life was a misshapen windsock in 6th grade Home Ec class. To say my skills are a bit rusty is an understatement. That’s all I’ve got!

Hasta,
Camry

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